Is It Over Yet?
by Cheyanne Blaize
Summary: And somehow, she became that girl. The one she never wanted to be. The scared girl who pretended life was great but felt like she was dying inside. The girl that hated herself, because she couldn't stand up to him. The one with the fake smile, who was secretly fearing for her life. The victim.
1. Victim

**This was a one shot in my collection 'The Game or The Girl', but i got pretty positive feedback on it, so i'm going to continue it on. It will still probably end up pretty short, but i hope you enjoy what i have anyway. **

**DISCLAIMER: i do not own glee. **

**Rachel POV**

She could barely recognize herself as she stared at her own bruised and bare figure in the mirror.

She pressed her index finger to the tender, discolored flesh, wincing at the pain made by the contact. She remembered when it first happened, when Jesse first hit her.

_She stared at him in shock as she pressed her own palm to the sore spot on her cheek. Had Jesse just hit her? He had. One moment they were arguing over a stupid, drunk jock hitting on her at the party they'd attended, the next, her skin was burning where he'd slapped her. Anger still shone in his eyes and she wasn't whether to be shocked or scared. No. She wasn't going to be a victim, she'd been raised to stand up for herself. She wouldn't let Jesse bully her-there was enough of that at school. She's seen the stories on the news and enough movies to firmly state that she would never be one of those girls. The girl who was secretly being abused, the girl who couldn't stand up for herself, the girl who lied to everyone and pretended everything was okay, the girl who was just as disgusted with herself as she was with her attacker, the girl who was afraid of everything._

_"Leave." was all she said, but unfortunately that wasn't what he did._

_"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Rachel." He told her with what looked like sincerity. "I love you Rachel, i didn't mean that. Please, just forgive me. I love you, I can't lose you. I will never do anything like that again. I promise. Forgive me, Rachel. Please, you have to forgive me."_

She's not sure why, but she did. She forgave him. Maybe because he was the first guy to tell her that he loved her, and she just melted. It never even occurred to her he could be lying or acting or whatever it was that he was truly doing.

That's how it started. He'd hit her once, and apologized, promised to never do it again. _But he did_. The next time he hit her, he apologized and she's not sure why, but she forgave him. _Again_. Every time it happened from then on, he apologized, proclaimed his love, and she forgave him.

Then, slowly, it started happening more and more. And eventually the apologies ceased to exist, and he'd make Rachel feel like she'd been the one in the wrong. She would do something he didn't like, and he'd punish her. She had accepted it as a part of life soon enough. He'd gotten more and more violent as time passed. And she'd gotten better and better at hiding it from everyone else.

She never told a soul. Only she and Jesse knew, and from the threats he sent her way, she knew that's how things had to stay.

And somehow, she became _that girl_. The one she never wanted to be. The scared girl who pretended life was great but felt like she was dying inside. The girl that hated herself, because she couldn't stand up to him. The one with the fake smile, who was secretly fearing for her life. The _victim_.

Oh, how she hated that word. But that's just what she was. She was a victim of domestic violence. And she just lived with that.

She lived with the lie. She lived with the violence. She lived with the pain. She lived with the bruises. She lived with the fear.

Every day she woke up and stared at herself naked in the mirror in disgust. She hated that she'd let herself get to this point. She hated herself for not standing up against Jesse.

Why didn't she though?

Because you'd do anything for the one you love. But the thing about that... she doesn't think she loves Jesse, and she's certain he doesn't truly love her. Because if he did, he would never do the horrible things he does to her. Would he?

She keeps telling herself that she'll stop it next time, that she won't keep taking the abuse. She internally promises herself that it will all be over soon, and that things will be better, but it never happens. Things don't get better. They just keep getting worse actually. She always breaks that self promise, and just takes the abuse, covers it up, and pretends it never happened. And she hates herself a little more.

So here she is, covering up the multi-colored bruises with plenty of clothing and make-up. And no one ever suspects anything, or at least they didn't... until today.

It's the first time she's slipped up since it started. She doesn't usually let herself make these kind of mistakes, because they will _always_ mean more punishment. More abuse.

So she'd gotten slushied, nothing new, obviously. She kept calm as she picked up her drenched belongings and made her way to the nearest bathroom. She made sure no one else was in the stalls before she began stripping off her sticky clothing and wiping her skin clean with a wet towel, just as she does every time. She erased the thick makeup from her face with the damp towel and looked at her bruised body in the mirror.

Her mistake? She forgot to lock the door.

How stupid of her!

Thats when she heard the gasp from behind.

She twirled around quickly and met the shocked gaze of Santana Lopez. Santana let her gaze run over Rachel's discolored skin, then quickly shut and locked the door.

"What happened to you?!" She demanded.

Rachel of course lied, "Nothing. I-I fell."

"Fell my ass!" Santana shrieked.

Then Rachel picked up her belongings and ran into a stall. Ignoring the Cheerio's questioning, she rushed to get dressed and apply her makeup to cover her bruises, before hurrying past Santana on her way out the door.

Somehow, though, she knew, this was not the end of this. Santana might just be on to her little secret, one that she was desperately trying to hide. And Rachel was almost as afraid of what her tormentors could do to her with this information, as she was of what Jesse would surely do when he inevitably found out about Rachel's slip up. _Almost_.

* * *

><p><strong>Santana POV<strong>

"I think Rachel's being abused or something." She told Quinn only moments after the scene in the bathroom.

"What are you talking about San?" the perky blonde asked back, both annoyed and confused.

"I walked in on her in the bathroom a bit ago, and she was... i don't know. Beat up and covered in bruises. She said it was nothing and ran out, but, you should have seen it Quinn. That was not nothing."

"Who cares? It's just Ru' Paul." Her friends reaction shocked her. Even Quinn couldn't be _that_ cold hearted. Could she?

So Santana questioned her carefully, "You can't mean that, right?"

"Why shouldn't i? She's probably just making it up for attention or something."

"And if she's not?" She asked, beginning to get angry at Quinn's response.

"Well then she probably deserves it." Quinn said simply, applying a thick coat of lip gloss.

Santana was outraged. Turns out Quinn really _is_ that cold hearted. Here Santana was, telling her that someone they knew-granted someone they didn't always (99.9% of the time) like-was getting abused, and Quinn went on doing her makeup as though it was nothing.

"Are you kidding me right now?!" Santana shrieked. "I know you don't like her, but not even she deserves that. I can't believe you Quinn. Who would've thought you'd be a bigger bitch than even me?" with that, she walked away, she wouldn't be like Quinn. She wouldn't sit back and let this happen when she knew about it-not even to Rachel Berry.

* * *

><p><strong>Puck POV<strong>

Puck was more than a little curious when he walked into Glee that afternoon to see Rachel and Santana talking quietly in the corner. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he could clearly see both of their expressions. So, he took his seat in the back and, along with the rest if the gleeks, watched the scene.

At first it seemed like Santana was mad and Rachel was scared, which is nothing new. But then, Santana's expression softened and she rested an arm on Rachel's shoulder, as though she was comforting her-which of course confused the hell out of Puck because really? Santana Lopez _comforting_ Rachel Berry? No one would believe it. Then Rachel was suddenly the one looking angry. She shook off Santanas comforting hand, and started whisper yelling something. Santana wouldn't take any of it though, and started whisper yelling right back. Suddenly and randomly, Rachel began to cry, and fell into Santana who embraced her in a hug (Okay SERIOUSLY, Santana and Rachel hugging? Did hell freeze over while he was skipping out on math class for his daily nap in the nurses office, or what?!).

And watching Santana comforting Rachel as she cried, all he wanted to do was run over and take Satan's place. Why? Probably cause he's liked Rachel for well.. close to forever actually.

Soon enough though, Rachel sniffled her last few tears and Santana and her spoke for only a minute more before walking over to the group and sitting together. They ignored the gossip and questioning from the other gleeks, and the glares of an especially angry Quinn Fabray.

He wondered if this all had anything to do with the way Rachel's been acting really strange lately-yeah, he's noticed.

But before he could talk to Rachel to find out, Mr Schue walked in, and Puck was left wondering: Seriously, what the hell was going on?

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel POV<strong>

"Hey Rache, you got a second?" It was Puck asking as they all packed up at the end of glee.

"Um.. yeah. What can i help you with, Noah?" She asked with a fake, bright smile.

"I just, uh.. wanted to make sure you were okay." He seemed nervous. "You know, cause you were crying and all. And you've been acting really strange lately, like not yourself and uh.. yeah. So is everything alright?" She was tired of lying to everyone. She wished she could just tell Noah everything right here and now, but if she did she'd be paying for it later. And that wasn't something she was willing to do.

"Y-yeah, Santana and i were just talking about some stuff. It's nothing you need to worry about."

"Are you sure, Rache? You seemed pretty upset and-"

"I'm positive, Noah. Everything's fine."

But everything wasn't fine. And that was the night that her whole situation really hit her... literally. That was the night that she finally stood up to Jesse and almost payed for it with her life.

"I can't do this anymore." She told him quietly, trying to stay strong. "I can't live like this."

"Live like what, Rachel?" Jesse asked, pretending to care, though he seemed more interested in the video of another Vocal Adrenaline performance that was playing on his laptop.

"I can't live in fear anymore. I can't pretend i love you just to avoid another beating. You need to get out of my house and out of my life Jesse."

She's not exactly sure what happened after that...

* * *

><p><strong>Puck POV<strong>

He'd thought all night about his conversation with Rachel yesterday, and he'd come to the conclusion that something was most certainly going on. And he swore he was going to confront her and find out what it was.

Only... Rachel didn't show up for school that day. _Well that's odd, doesn't she have like perfect attendance or something?_

It seems he'd have to get his answers elsewhere... Santana! She knew what was going on, so that's who he looked for next. But she was nowhere to be found either.

_Must be a coincidence, right?_

Just before lunch he saw Rachel's dads exiting principal Figgins' office. _Why were they here?_

He approached them but was taken aback by what he saw.

Her fathers looked like they'd been crying for days, and gotten little to no sleep last night.

"Mr and Mr Berry? Is everything okay?"

"Oh, Noah." Hiram said, surprised. "What ever do you mean?"

He'd actually gotten along with the Berry's when he'd been dating Rachel earlier that year. They were pretty cool guy's, and seemed to approve of him, which was totally weird, and a first for Puck.

"Well, Rachel isn't in school, but you are... Is everything okay with her?"

"We might as well tell the boy, Hiram. He's going to find out soon enough."

"Yes i suppose you're right." Puck was seriously starting to get worried.

"What am i going to find out? What happened? Is Rache okay? I knew she was acting strange but-" Puck rambled until he was cut off.

"Calm down, son. Rachel, she's.. she's in the hospital."


	2. Human

**Not sure this makes much sense, but here, hope you like it :)**

**Christina Perri-Human (in case you were wondering.**

**Read, Review, Enjoy.**

_I can hold my breath._

_I can bite my tongue._

Rachel sat on a tall, wooden stool in the center of the choir room, singing her heart out to her small but important audience.

_I can stay awake for days, _

_If that's what you want._

The gleeks were there, her teammates. Most of them were only now learning what she had been living with for months, and a few of them seemed they could not care less, but they were her teammates, none the less.

_Be your number one._

Mr. Schuester was there, looking at Rachel sympathetically, having only heard the story moments ago, but trying to be supportive.

_I can fake a smile._

Ms. Pillsbury was there, wet wipes and pamphlets in hand.

_I can force a laugh._

Her fathers were there, silently cheering her on with pride in their eyes.

_I can dance and play the part,_

_If that's what you ask._

Santana was there, and though they had never really been friends, they had gotten close since that day in the bathroom (Hard to believe that was a whole two weeks ago, huh?).

_Give you all I am._

Noah was there, and she was grateful for that fact. If it weren't for him, she'd either be at home, crying-sobbing-in her bed with her fathers in the background watching worriedly, or smiling that same false smile she'd grown accustomed to since Jesse came into her life, and pushing her feelings down-pretending they didn't exist. And she knew for certain that both of those options were headed down the path to self hatred (more than she already had), self harm, and an inevitable noose around her neck as her red turned blue lips gasped for air.

_I can do it..._

There were plenty of songs to choose from, ones that would probably better explain her situation to the group, but after hearing this song on the radio, she knew it was the one.

_I can do it..._

Even if no one else understood what she was trying to say, she was proud of herself for finally saying it.

_I can do it..._

She was finally getting it all out there, finally telling her secret, finally expressing herself, the way Rachel Berry always did: in song.

* * *

><p>She plucked another candy from the bag Santana had bought her, and threw it at Noah's sleeping form. The ground was littered with them, along with other things she'd found to throw at him.<p>

It wasn't that she had bad aim, oh no, she'd actually managed to hit him every single time. The problem was, that Noah was an incredibly heavy sleeper. As in poke him, throw things, take pictures, he still wasn't waking up (sure if she yelled, he would have woken up, but where's the fun in that?). She knows, she's been doing it for the past half hour.

Santana left about an hour ago, promising to return when she could, and for a while Rachel gotten along fine by herself. But being in a hospital room, there was only so much one could do before boredom ensues.

And boredom had hit.

So she began her candy-throwing game.

But one could only throw things at an unconscious form before boredom returned.

"No-ahh! Wake up already, sleepy head!" she giggled as she clutched a small handful of the chocolate and prepared to throw.

"Don't even think about it, Berry." she's not gonna lie, she still thought about it.

Noah was still in the same exact position as he had been, his eyes were still sealed shut and everything. Just by looking at him, he seemed as asleep as he was before she began her game of 'lets wake up Puck'. So, looking between her handful of candy and the apparently-not-as-asleep-as-she-thought boy in the chair across from her, she did it.

She threw them.

Little chocolates fell from the air, assaulting Puck from every angle available.

And she reached her goal: He finally opened his eyes.

Granted, he was glaring at her and covered in mini candies, but it was a start. Giggling, she pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of him, saving it like she had the others (she'd taken those while he was still enjoying nap time).

"Okay, Berry, i give. What's with you?"

"I beg your pardon?" She asked, a teasing smile still gracing her face.

"Why are you sitting here laughing and having fun, pretending nothing happened?" Seriousness masked his features and in an instant the fun, carefree tone of the room disappeared.

"Look, I'm just happy that it's all over. _He_ is _finally_ out of my life and I... I'm free, Noah." She couldn't say, or even speak his name since it happened. She didn't want to.

"I don't buy that for a minute."

"You don't have to _buy_ anything, Noah. You asked me a question and I gave you an answer. And like it or not, it's the truth." Rachel knew she'd have to talk about it eventually, but in all honesty, she didn't want to. All she wanted to do was enjoy being a teenager again. To get back to being... herself. "Now can we just drop it?"

Apparently Puck had other ideas though, because he continued on with his line of questioning, "Why did you take it as long as you did, Rache? Why continue to let him push you around and control you? You're better than that, Rache."

There was a softness in his eyes as he spoke, but she could practically feel the judgement coming off of him. She hated him for pitying her. Bathing in ignorance, thinking he knew what was going on in her head. Thinking he was better than her.

He may not have said these things, but she knew they were there, bouncing around in his mind, on the tip of his tongue, just aching to come out.

"How is what _he_ did to me any different than what you've been doing for years?"

"First of all, i apologized for that when we were dating, and i haven't thrown one slushy at you since then." He was apologetic at first, but soon turned angry. "Besides, throwing slushies isn't the same as throwing punches."

Rachel responded with 3 simple words. "Isn't it though?"

"What are you even talking about? They're totally different."

They were different, she knew that. But really, weren't bullies just bullies, no matter what the form of tormenting? If they were, than slushies really were the same as punches.

"Its not just the slushies though you know? I mean yeah, you've doused me in slushy day after day since we were in 6th grade. Not to mention all the horrific names you've all called me, and all the drawings on the bathroom walls-lets just not get into those. But seriously. All of the bullies at Mckinley are the same as..." It was the only time she stuttered in her mini-rant. It was the first time she'd uttered his name since it happened. "J-Jesse in my eyes, They-"

"I don't have to take this." He interrupted, standing up angrily, clearly not wanting to be compared to a monster like Jesse St. James.

"Yes you do, actually. You wanted me to talk, i'm talking. Now sit back down and let me finish." He complied. She noted Santana in the doorway, fresh tears in her eyes, but did not acknowledge her specifically. At this point, she didn't care who she was saying it to, she just had to get this off of her chest.

"They both make me feel like crap about myself. They make me feel like i'm not worth it, like i have to be something i'm not. It's like they're trying to mold me into something better, something they deem _special_. The only difference between them and _him_ is that he was willing to inflict physical pain to do it. But now i realize that I _am_ special, but i'm also _human_, I can't be everything everyone wants me to be. I just can't. They can't mold me into a better version of myself, because there _is_ no better version of myself. I am me, and that's it. I'm not going to let anyone change me, or break me. It doesn't matter anymore, im no longer a victim, and I'm not going to act like one. "

It was a moment before anyone spoke, but for that moment, it was completely silent, save for the beeping and buzzing of hospital machines.

"I'm sorry." She'd never thought she would see Puck cry, but here he was, tears in his eyes.

"Why are you even here, Noah? Why do you even care?"

"I just... I needed to see you."

She didn't question him, didn't press the matter further. Santana entered the room again, sitting in the seat beside Rachel and opposite Puck. Together they let the serious conversation drift away as though it had never happened, and enjoyed the rest of the visiting hours.

However, just before Noah left for the day, sure to come back tomorrow, he hugged her and whispered a few words of wisdom in her ear.

She thought about these words for the rest of the night, even as she stared up at the dark hospital ceiling.

"Don't just cover up your feelings. Do what Rachel Berry does best, sing."

* * *

><p><em>But I'm only human,<em>

So she ended up here.

_And I bleed when i fall down._

Singing about how she couldn't do it anymore.

_I'm only human,_

Singing what she felt:

_And I crash and I break down._

that she wan't perfect,

_Your words in my head, knives in my heart._

she was done trying to be;

_You build me up and then I fall apart._

that it was okay to be herself,

_'Cause I'm only human._

even if that meant occasionally falling apart.

And fall apart she would.

She'd been through a lot, didn't she deserve at least that?

_I can turn it on,_

_Be a good machine._

_I can hold the weight of worlds, _

_If that's what you need._

All eyes were on her.

_I can do it..._

She used to like the attention, but now...

_I can do it..._

Well, things were different now.

_I'll get through it..._

She was different now.

_But I'm only human,_

_And I bleed When I fall down._

_I'm only human,_

_And i crash and I break down._

_Your words in my head, knives in my heart._

_You build me up and then I fall apart._

_'Cause I'm only human..._

She meant what she said in the hospital that day.

_I'm only human..._

Sure she'd said it all in the heat of the moment, caught up in a rant.

_I'm only human..._

But she wanted to do whatever she could to never be the victim again.

_Just a little human..._

Because Rachel berry can take a lot of crap from a lot of people.

_I can take so much._

But she would never take that again.

_'Til I've had enough._

Jesse had changed her.

_'Cause I'm only human._

_And I bleed when i fall down._

Not in the way he'd attended to, but he had.

_I'm only human._

_And I crash and I break down._

She would never be that same girl who let herself get victimized for 'love'.

_Your words in my head, Knives in my heart._

But she couldn't go back to the girl who had vowed to never let that happen, because in reality, it did happen, and she did let it...

_You build me up and then i fall apart.__  
><em>

No, she would be someone else entirely.

The girl who knew it could and would happen, the girl who wasn't afraid, the girl who _was_ a victim... the girl who survived.

_'Cause __I'm only human..._

She let her own voice fade off and looked out into the crowd of people she, for the most part, loved.

Confusion, Surprise, Sadness, Disbelief, Recognition, Sympathy, Anger, Pride, Judgement... She saw it all.

There were a thousand songs she could have sung to explain what she'd been going through, thousands of songs that actually had to do with a similar situation. But only this song got her feelings across. Only this song explained what she felt.

She no longer had to hide her bruises under thick coats of makeup, large sunglasses, bundles of clothing.

She had a long road ahead of her, but she was ready for it.

Rachel Berry no longer had to worry about who everyone else wanted her to be.


	3. Authors Note

p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px;"strongAuthors Note: I am under no delusions that any of you actually care what is going on in my life, or why I haven't posted in so long, however, here is some sort of explanation so at least you can never say I gave you none. Feel free to skip it./strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px;"strongI am really sorry for not writing lately. This past year has been really hard, if had to go through the deaths of a few people I was close with, as well as deal with a sudden harsh reality that has come along with my new found adulthood. Because of my personal issues, I actually believed writing these silly stories would give me some kind of escape as well as get some good material, but trying to force myself into it really had the opposite of the desired effect and nothing I've been writing has come out sounding like me. However, I have come to the realization that I cannot put posting off forever. So, this may just be complete and utter shit, feel free to let me know. The only place to go from here is up, right?strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px;"strongI will probably post this authors note in every story I have, so consider yourself warned. I'm going to attempt to update at least a few of my stories over the next month or so, but I make no promises. But the point is I'm going to try, which is more than I can say for the past few months which seemed to have morphed into a year while I slept. Please, continue reading the junk i have rattling around in my head.strong/p 


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